Upon being engaged, several people recommended I read Dr. Laura's infamous guide to marriage, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands in order to prepare myself for marriage. While many things about Dr. Laura rubbed me the wrong way (her need to make sweeping generalizations, the harsh tones she took with callers, and her 80's look among others), I will have to say that I learned a great deal from this book that I hope to put to use in improving my relationship with Andrew. To recap, they are:
- If I want respect from my spouse, I must be the first to give it.
- Men thrive on acceptance and appreciation, as well as forgiveness when they are wrong.
- I want to support my partner by erasing his burdens and supporting his dreams.
- In order to avoid self-centeredness I must consider his needs and desires before my own.
- Positive actions can inspire positive feelings.
- Men express their love in different ways than women (often through actions instead of words).
- I need to work to avoid expressing anger through angry dissapointment.
- The media has distorted our perceptions of what love should be like.
- My (future) husband should be my #1 priority.
- Love him like he has never hurt you before.
- The emotions I feed (positive or negative) will be the emotions to grow.
- I need to try and refrain from micromanaging my (future) husband because it conveys a lack of trust.
- I have to give to get.
- When discussing something with a man, skip the details that are unnecessary.
- Listen without being defensive and be open to his feelings.
- Re-read page 77 for a good recap.**
- Communicate by being direct, and don't expect husbands to replace girlfriends.
- A man needs to feel loved and respected.
- Keep requests simple.
- It is a gift to be sweet, kind and flirtatious.
I am still reading, but I will update this post soon. Andrew just arrived;)
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